This week I have had to counsel too many people on how to come out of an abusive relationship. To all those who have given up their lives to another, allowing them to take away the free choice God has given you, please wake up and know that no man, woman, boss, child or parent is the source of your supply. God is your only source of supply and God’s Spirit dwells in you. Do not feel that you have to depend on them for anything. Of course you can live your life without them. With God in you, you have the wisdom and strength to get out; with God in you, you have complete power over your life. Others have made it out of lack and limitation and so can you.

To all people who have forgotten that slavery is abolished. Let me remind you that

1. To enslave another is to enslave yourself because you have to stay near to the cell to watch over the prisoner/slave.

2. When you abuse someone you are committing murder. You are killing that person’s spirit, soul/mind and will, causing them to die to their true powerful self. Matt.10:28 Jesus said “Fear not those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul/mind; but rather fear him who can destroy both soul/mind and body in hell.”

3. When you abuse someone you deprive yourself from getting the best of that person. They conform and comply our of fear. Wouldn’t you feel more loved if they did the same things and more on their own? Besides, after squeezing the life, individuality and joy out of them, you are left with a zombie, a mere shell, a living dead.

4. As abuser you are living a life of fear just like your victims.

• You are afraid they will not love you so you force them to love you.
• You are afraid that they will leave your life, so you hold them captive.
• You are afraid that they will hurt you and redicule you, so you do it to them first.
• You are afraid that if you reveal your true feelings the fears, hurts and joys you will be so vulnerable that you will be taken advantage of so you become the advantager.
• You are afraid that your love partners will not love you, for who you are and love you enough to want to have sex with you so you take it by force.
• You are afraid that you are not good enough, bright enough, good looking enough, rich enough, healthy enough, fair enough, educated enough etc. so to make yourself feel good about yourself you have to put down those, who in your opinion, are better than you or have the potential to be.
• You are afraid that if you allow your partner to succeed at work or a personal project that means that they are better than you, so you prevent them from a life of service and creativity.
• And finally you are afraid that your friends and work colleagues will find out that you are an abuser, so you are always acting when in public.  

Can’t you see, you are living a life of fear instead of love and trust? How stressfull! You cannot force someone to love you. You can get all that you want and more from the same person by pouring out the love that dwells inside of you. Try it, practice it and it must come back to you. In you is the beautiful individualized Spirit of God waiting to express Itself as you. It is waiting for you to turn within and draw from that well of divine qualities that cannot ever be depleted. To all abusers please turn within and stop looking for what you want outside of yourself.

I pray for the abuser and the abused. The Spirit of God is now freeing your mind from the bondage of negative and erroneous thoughts and fears and frees you to be the loving, wise and powerful spirit that you were created to be. Stand up and claim your freedom. AMEN!

Rev. Cheryl Hernandez